I was seeking for answers since five years

I was seeking for answers since five years.. I knew what I am facing is brutal but I was tired of explaining myself to people surrounded me, I have been suicidal during my relationship and during hoovering phase.. I just knew I was never like this before meeting him and I never wanted to spend my life with him and I gave him closure many times and forgiveness for my peace but people around me said you are in love so I stopped Explaining them when they used to tell me move on and all so your videos help me now I only gave them proof of what hell I had been through and triggers are still there.